Sticking my head up above my brick wall and other defence barricades to acknowledge that I am still in existence, no matter how much I wish I wasn't. I thought it was all going so well, pride before a fall.
Waiting for DNA results, it's alright but ethically the result could be a stone in a pond as far as the implications go.
I feel vulnerable, scared, caught in the headlights and totally alone. Isn't that just such a pathetic thing to say? Look around when walking along any street and there are 100000's of people going through 1000000's of things. Who am I to say I'm alone?
It reminds me of a song we used to sing in Primary school assembly;
Have you seen the old man
In the closed-down market
taking out the papers,
with his worn out shoes?
In his eyes you see no pride
hands held loosely by his side
Yesterday's paper telling yesterday's news
Chorus: So how can you tell me that you're lonely,
say for you that the sun don't shine and
Let me take you by the hand lead you through the streets of London
I'll show you something to make you change your mind
Have you seen the old girl
Who walks the streets of London
Dirt in her hair and her clothes in rag
She's no time for talking
she just keeps right on walking
Carrying her home in two carrier bags.
Chorus
In the all night cafe
At a quarter past eleven,
Same old man sitting there on his own
Looking at the world
Over the rim of his tea-cup,
and each tea last an hour,
And he wanders home alone
Chorus
And have you seen the old man
Outside the Seaman's Mission
Memory fading with the medal ribbon that he wears
And in our winter city
The rain cried a little pity
A one more forgotten hero
And the world that doesn't care
Chorus
That pretty much sums it up.
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